


Gonna Give All My Secrets Away

by jadesolo



Series: The Adventures of Rey Solo [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt, F/M, Gen, Lies, Rey Solo, Secrets, basically a prequel for the Rey Solo AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-03
Updated: 2016-04-03
Packaged: 2018-05-30 21:27:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6441430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jadesolo/pseuds/jadesolo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Poe has had enough of keeping the identity of Kylo Ren a secret-and he's drunkenly determined to tell Rey.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gonna Give All My Secrets Away

**Author's Note:**

> So this is a prequel of sorts to my ongoing multi-chapter fic, Awakening. This particular drabble is inspired by my latest chapter which you can find here! Hope you enjoy!

He was drunk. He knew it, too. So at least he was aware of that; Poe Dameron made his way back toward the Resistance base, stumbling slightly, thinking of the past two days’ events. They’d lost Trip, a beloved and trusted member of the Red Squadron, during a firefight with the First Order. It’d been a brutal fight and if it hadn’t of been for Trip’s sacrifice, no doubt the rest of the squadron, including Poe, would be dead right now.

So they-mostly Snap and Jessika-had suggested going out for drinks at a near-by bar that was run by some of the retired members of the Rebellion. And there they had drank their problems away, laughing at stupid old jokes that weren’t all that funny, until finally the bartender had decided they’d had enough to drink and had unceremoniously thrown them out.

As he walked, hands in his pockets, thinking somewhat absently, his mind wandered to the one thing it usually did-drunk or sober: the secret he had been entrusted with.

Kylo Ren’s identity. 

It wasn’t some awesome secret to keep, either. The secret didn’t even have to be kept to protect the galaxy. No, it was hidden because of shame and fear and fear of losing another.

Losing  _ her _ .

And he couldn’t blame them. Couldn’t blame the infamous General Organa and her smuggler husband, Han Solo, for wanting to keep the identity of Kylo Ren a secret from their daughter, Rey. Couldn’t blame them for having him come into their quarters one night, sit him down on the couch and tell him the truth. To keep Rey safe.

“ _ I’m trusting you with this information because I know how close you are to Rey. She considers you a brother, Poe. And I know that you’ll do anything to protect her.” _ Leia had told him that night. Han had remained silent the entire time.

Kylo Ren: Ben Solo, Rey’s brother.

And Poe had been sworn to secrecy. To keep Rey safe.

It was a mantra, each time he thought about the secret.  _ It’s to keep Rey safe. It’s to keep her safe. _

_ Keep Rey safe. _

It was his constant mission, sometimes it felt like it was the mission above all else. To keep Rey safe from harm, safe from her brother, safe from the weight this monstrous secret held.

But he could never decide if the weight of the secret itself was heavier than the weight of keeping the secret from Rey.

He stopped mid-walk, thinking hard. Could he carry the weight of this secret any longer? Could he march into battle against Rey’s brother and-if given the chance-could Poe be able to pull the trigger to stop Kylo Ren...all the while, Rey being clueless that Poe had killed her brother?

No, he thought. He couldn’t keep a secret of this magnitude from her any longer. Standing up a little straighter, he marched forward back to the base. In the back of his mind, he had hoped to be stopped by someone, a little late night chat might stop him from doing the stupid thing he was planning on doing.

But he met no opposition. And soon he was standing in front of her quarters, arm raised and ready to knock on the door.

For a brief second, he hesitated. He had made a promise to the General, to her husband….and reason told him he should listen to them, not the gnawing feeling of keeping a secret from his best friend.

Reason, however, did not win.

He knocked thrice on the door. A few seconds later, he heard a groan, a rustle and the door slid open with a hiss and standing before him was a rather disgruntled Rey Solo. Before he could speak however, to answer the inaudible snarky remark that had fallen from her lips, his vision grew blurry and fuzzy and the next second, he felt the unmistakable feeling of falling.

And everything went black.

 

* * *

A second later, he woke up with a start. Or at least, it felt like a second.

Instead, through the windows of the quarters, he could see sunlight filtering through. Then it hit him that he was, one: lying on a couch and two: was not in his own quarters.

Sitting on an arm chair opposite of a room, drinking a cup of caf, an amused smile on her face, was Rey Solo. “Morning, sleepy head.” She nodded at the coffee table in front of him. “Drink up.”

Sitting up, his gaze fell upon the drink she was referring: a glass of water. He took it thankfully, quickly downing it.

“Why did you come here, Dameron?” Rey asked, never one to beat around the bushes. “I get you were slobbering drunk, but you must’ve had a motive.”

Suddenly Poe found that he was very thirsty. “It was a dare,” he lied, looking down at his empty glass. “Snap and Jessika, th-they, uh, thought it’d be funny, see if any of us dared..to, uh, come wake you up in the middle of the night. You know, knowing how grouchy you are when you get woken up.”

Rey nodded, eyes narrowing. “So you took the dare upon yourself.”

“You know me,” Poe said with a feigned smile, “can never resist a challenge. But, uh, I fainted before I could win….” He stood up, unable to lie to his friend any longer. “I better be going, they’ll probably be wondering why I haven’t turned up yet for breakfast.”

“Right,” Rey said with a small smile. He nodded and crossed the room, opening the door, praying she wouldn’t say anything else, because if she did, he might just tell her the truth.

“Poe,” she said suddenly, just as he was about to step out. He froze, turning around, trying to act natural. Rey’s eyes were full of concern. “Are you alright?”

He paused, thinking of his mother, of Trip and Muran and all of the other pilots he’d lost in the short time that the war had started. Then he thought of the secret that he had to keep close to him and the guilt that plagued him during all hours of the day.

Swallowing, Poe Dameron gave a forced smile and said, as lightly as he could, “Of course. See you, Solo.”

This time, as he left the room, Rey said nothing to stop him.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed the fic! Please feel free to comment your thoughts on it! The title of the fic is taken from the OneRepublic song "Secrets" which I felt was really apt for this fic in particular. Chapter eight of Awakening is coming soon...and the end is fast approaching....
> 
> Also did anyone catch the AOS-themed easter egg? ;)


End file.
